Disillusionment
I had to ask:
‘How do you find reasons to live?’
She replied:
I have nothing and no one – I am nothing and no one.
There is great freedom in that.
Taste it.
Isn’t it liberating?
There is something sweet in this bitterness.
Something worth holding onto, as you move like a corpse through these fields of nothingness.
How are you not loving disillusionment?
Let me repeat that:
How are you not loving disillusionment?
When you are stripped away from everything you clung on to – you are left bare and untouchable.
When you have nothing they can’t take anything else away from you.
Who needs reasons to live, when you have no reasons not to die?
There is absolute freedom in being absolute free.
I have nothing and no one – I am nothing and no one – they will never be able to hurt me again.
Are you paying attention to this absence of illusions?
Move your attention to this nothingness instead of clinging it to dead somethingness.
How fucking sweet isn’t this pain Charles?
This emptiness is everything you have and everything you need.
Why aren’t you IN LOVE with this pain yet Charles?
How great is this beautiful and perfect and non-trivial misery?
Do not fear death – fear being a coward.
Do not fear death – fear being someones bitch.
Be true to you, for me there is no one bigger, you will die someday – but until then don’t give these fucks the satisfaction of seeing you sweat.
Whatever nightmares you are having now, they’re trivial.
Fuck em.
Whatever enemies you have, they are suckers.
Fuck em.
Whatever you think will be your undoing…
Fuck it.
Who needs reasons to live, when you have no reasons not to die.